Hiya!

Here is some find e-mail that a bloke from my job sent to me! I feel identified by 44 of these signs! Maybe I have been here for too long,

• 1. You don’t even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is OVERCAST
• 2. You believe that Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday are all good nights for drinking. Sunday day is also entirely reasonable.
• 3. You can’t remember what ‘customer service’ means.
• 4. After a big night out you find yourself in a Curry house and not a 24 hour McDonalds.
• 5. You start to accept queuing as a way of life.
• 6. More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.
• 7. You have memorised the bus route home and manage to get back every time even when you’re half conscious half drunk beyond the edge of reason.
• 8. You don’t think twice about buying a packaged sandwich.
• 9. A sunny lunchtime means searching for a patch of grass and stripping off practically down to your underwear.
• 10. You feel utterly lost if you’re not within 10 mins of a Tesco/Sainsbury’s Local
• 11. You think ?40 for a haircut is quite reasonable.
• 12. You finish every sentence with “Cheers”, and start every conversation with Hiya.
• 13. You only just realise you have lost your sunglasses - you left them in Greece 2 summers ago.
• 14. You start thinking English cuisine isn’t all that bad after all, I mean, it’s hard to beat a full English breakfast.
• 15. You are on to your 6th umbrella and your second overcoat.
• 16. You buy a disposable baby BBQ from Argos.
• 17. You realise your sunscreen is the stuff you originally brought from home with you…..yes that is Midlands postcode on the price label.
• 18. A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn’t even enter your head.
• 19. You actually say, “Sor’ed” or “it’s all gone a bit pear shaped”.
• 20. Seeing men wearing a suit in a pub is relatively normal.
• 21. You have given up complaining about the Victorian-like banking services offered, being in a line for an entire lunch break is now just acceptable.
• 22. You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late as no-one notices or even cares. In fact - you may even pop into Pr?t a Manger for a hot drink and some breakfast first.
• 23. Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week following cheapskates.
• 24. You snigger at the price when you buy a round whilst visiting mates in other cities.
• 25. Your family tells you you have a Southern twang and you say “naah I’ve alwiss talked like thist”
• 26. ?1.50 for 3 bus stops seems reasonable.
• 27. The ink from your oyster card has begun to blend with your skin, yes your palm is NOT supposed to be blue.
• 28. ?300,000 is an acceptable price for a box room above a newsagents.
• 29. Unsolicited friendliness from strangers is met with you looking directly at the floor, cos let’s face it, they’re either going to ask you for money or tell you about God.
• 30. You’ve become accustomed to the clipboard crew slalom on the high street and now you’re ducking and diving past the chuggers like a pro without an ounce of eye contact.
• 31. you expect 15% gratuity to be automatically added when your bill is delivered to your table, after all it’s not up to you to decide whether the staff have earned it
• 32. You begin to pack summer clothes for the tube journey and a suit & raincoat for a quick change in the Westminster public loos
• 33. You know the Underground replacement bus service drivers by name and shift
• 34. The bloke sitting across from you on the tube seems strangely familiar, yet you wonder when did you start using words like “bloke” and why does “tube” seem like a normal word for a train?
• 35. Everyone past of the Watford gap to your belief is northerner.
• 36. You refer to area’s by postcode and actually understand where W1 and SW6 is.
• 37. When a child asks where’s the river, you use an Underground Map as an accurate representation.
• 38. You don’t venture past your own zone and zone 1 if your feeling adventurous.
• 39. you dial ‘9′ for an outside line, even when calling from home!
• 40. When you can’t hear sirens in the background you think….its quiet…too quiet
• 41. You only receive half of your birthday cards and none that were supposed to contain cash.
• 42. You expect an attendant to be waiting in the bathroom with perfume, deodorant and hand towels
• 43. You happily pay ?70 per month to walk on a treadmill instead of walk to work.
• 44. It’s normal to barge your way through a sea of people a tube station, bump people out of the way and not say sorry once all without your eye contact deviating from the ticket gate.
• 45. You know a quicker way to your destination than the cab is taking you.
• 46. You are surprised when out-of-towners have no idea how to use the tube, yet National Rail, Thameslink and Virgin Trains loses you completely.

Cheers,

Pilun

This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 14th, 2008 at 3:18 pm and is filed under humour. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.